Tuesday, August 5, 2008

A big day - major progress

It is 6.15pm our time, Perth Australia. I am waiting for hubby to come home with pizza and garlic bread. I am not a fast food girl. But who is here to make the food when we can't? I know if our mothers were closer they would bring us food. But they are not here. So we fend for ourselves. Hey, that is not so difficult. We're not exactly starving. Not for food anyway. Some close love and attention and some mummy-loving would go down a treat right now. 

I really want my mummy to fly across the country to me, and make me her special omelette, give me a hot choccie and lay me down on the couch and give me a foot rub. Honestly, I think of those foot rubs every night when I can't sleep, or am feeling distressed. Even the thought of them relaxes me. I have the best mummy in the world. I am now 41.5 and she is 70 - we are closer now than at any stage of our lives together, and I just want her here - to make all the tough decisions for me, to protect me and to guide me in the right direction. But she trusts me, and that is why I do not ask her to come, and if I did, she wouldn't come. A mother has to let her baby (even if she is 41) go at some stage.

 I am working full days right now. I am on email discussing  legals, finances, looking up flights, accommodation, thinking about money - how much do we spend, how much do we not spend. What is fair for our GS and what is fair for us.  I am negotiating the best contract I can. I am applying for my passport, looking up info about visas, talking to Australian Immigration. I am also trying to juggle house renovations alongside surrogacy. 

I am trying to help out my lovely sister-in-law with her belly dance questions. I love to and want to do this, but it all takes time. Then there is my mum on the phone - another half hour, asking me if I have done all the things I have already done, then her apologising to me because she knows I am sensible and smart and that she didn't need to ask me if I have thought about X, Y or Z.

I have ED agencies and IVF clinics to contact. I have my apologies to the ED agency lady who I talked about in the last post (the post I removed). I have an email from her telling me someone she knows found my post and sent it to her, and I have her protesting she was only trying to help me. I dunno.

Then there is this lovely man called Caesar, who sounds just like my dad, so I don't want to be rude to him. He's just trying to make a crust. But for F's sake - he has rung me about our life insurance policies five times today. I am now screening our calls. I just can't deal with a tele-marketer hounding me so he can get a bit of commission on a couple of life insurance policies. I know he probably needs the money, but that is not my concern right now.

Hubby has had a full day in a high-powered job. He was going to be home late because he knows I am doing lots right now, and he wants to be here to support me. Even though I shut him out. he has no idea what I am doing. he keeps asking, but i have made the decision to do all the research, to not worry him and to tell him what is and what costs when I am satisfied I have found the best surro solution for all.

He got home early. And I was a physical mess (as usual) the house was kind of a little bit clean, our three cats were under our feet. And the dog ... well, she's her normal nut-case, hairy, smelly, dependent, attention-seeking two-ear-old labrador baby that we adore.

The only thing I could do to redeem myself for appearing to have not done a thing all day is bath baby dog.  And boy did she get a bath. She got a spa bath, warm water, shampoo, and conditioner. She was treated like doggie royalty. She then had a big rub with the good towels, and a blow dry. She was besides herself. She ran around the house doing laps, jumping all over the furniture, the baskets of clean washing, the cats, me ... anything that took her fancy. And I let her. 

My pizza is here. But I need a bath before food. And that is where I am going.

2 comments:

Jaymee said...

amani,
please let me know if there is anything i can do to help.

Duck said...

hiya, just found your blog, sure do sound busy. Sorry to read about the missunderstanding with the ED agency and blog post (I went private as soon as we started to find a GS just in case).
Good luck.