Friday, August 22, 2008
Telling people the truth. Onya Nanny!
So, my mum calls me this afternoon. She has spoken with my cousin, a nurse, who I haven't seen since we were babies. She has told my cousin all about our surrogacy and asked her breast-feeding advice. How important is colostrum? Does formula have the same nutritional benefits as breastmilk? Should we put the babies on the surrogate's breast or get her to pump? Oh, the decisions!
I had just woken from a deep sleep (yes, I am napping during the day again ... while I can) and couldn't really get into the conversation. Bu it appears mum and cousin S have it all worked out. The joint consensus is to put the babies onto the breast for three days while our surrogate is in hospital, then stay nearby and have her pump for two weeks, then transfer the babies onto formula.
Now these babies are not yet conceived, let alone ready for feeding. But my mum has gotten into the spirit of things and is very excited. Cousin S is excited. My cousin is going to call my mum later and go in-depth into the issues or breast-feeding. Mum wants me to contact our local breast-feeding association and ask for their advice. I just want to go back to sleep.
As it transpires, my mum has told a stack of her friends about our surrogacy. Hey, I've told only a handful of VERY close friends, who are all our age and understand many things in life are done a little differently these days. I have told lies to people when I've had to. Those people are not close and don't need to know the truth. I had to email our building designer, who was ready to sign us up for a $330,000 home extension, and lie that we have been accepted into an international adoption program and are now spending most of our renovation funds on adoption, rather than on the house. (I also lied to the lady at our local bottle-shop ... because she is nice and I couldn't help myself.)
But mum has told her senior citizen friends all about it and has become a bit of a celebrity.
"We had the Davis' over for dinner the other night. You remember them. I told them about our surrogacy and the babies". (Notice how it is now "our" surrogacy, and the babies are plural ... two, not one.)
Eeek. The Davis' are a lovely family, but walk on the "straight" side of life, if you know what I mean. They are the LAST people to whom I would tell the truth. I shudder, waiting for the reaction.
"They think it is just amazing what technology allows these days," my mother tells me. "They are very excited for you. They've heard about this surrogacy thing, but never actually met someone doing it."
And my mother's daughter is the one doing it this unusual way, hence her growing celebrity status. What an interesting dinner-party topic of which my mum will now be the expert. After all, her friends' grandchildren were born the "normal" way.
I must go now and phone mum for an update on how to feed our children.
Well there is
Posted by Phoenix at 6:14 PM