Friday, September 12, 2008

Just wrote the hardest email in the world

I will keep this one short. I am having a very hard time right now.

We are now going to India for surrogacy. The reasons are purely financial. We are now struggling. I have been busting a gut this past week, dealing with family problems at home, a lower Aussie dollar, no financial back-up plan, and major stress that has lead me to taking anti-anxiety medication. Yep - it's that bad.

I have just had to cancel all our plans with US surrogacy. Sounds easy. Yep. Cancel the lawyer for us, and the lawyer for our surro, and the clinic, and the escrow agent, and the ED agency. That's the easy bit. They run businesses. The horrible part is cancelling our surro in the USA.

What can I say? I feel like I am betraying a good friend. 

But what else can I do?


switzertwins said...

Amani, Lisa and I are here if you need to talk. email me your phone number and I will call you. Hang in there kiddo. You are in our prayers.

Jaymee said...

Please let me know if there is anything that I can do. In reality though you are protecting your surrogate as well. By being honest about you financial situation, you have averted a situation that could have spelled disaster for all involved. I am so sorry that you had to do this, I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.

Amani said...

Thanks all.

Jaymee, yes, I am trying to protect our surro as well. It's best this happens now before contracts are signed, than later. I wrote to our surro. I am dreading her return email, not that she will be angry, just very disappointed, so I am going to bed.

Having children should not be this difficult. I suspect I am caring for too many people, and not enough for me, and Bob and our financial future.

Brian - you and Lisa are just amazing considering your recent loss. Still out there and looking after the rest of us who follow in your footsteps. I will send you an email soon - it's not so much a question of whether we go to India or not, it's now a question of with whom. I'd appreciate your input on this decision.

It's sleepy time for me. Thankfully I have some sleeping pills. Not ideal, but necessary for now.

Am xxx

switzertwins said...

Ok, we will call you around 10pm (if we have your number then)our time tonight which should we something like 11am your time. Saturday morning..So email me when you wake up :) sweet dreams...