Sunday, September 28, 2008

Thunderbirds are GO!

Wow, what a week. Once things started happening, they kept happening!

The news. We have an egg donor. Dr S put us in touch with a wonderful woman named Tertia, who runs a surrogacy and egg donation agency in South Africa. You can find her at We will be the first couple to fly an egg donor from SA to India. As you can imagine, the logistics of all this is one mean feat. But Tertia, Dr S and I are all high-achieving go-getters who don't consider the possibility of failure and don't take no for an answer.

We chose a lovely donor who is tall, blonde, blue-eyed and smart. Can you believe she is an electrical engineer like my hubby.  The best part is that she really wants to help us create a family and is very excited about being able to do so. She is willing to put her life on hold for a bit and travel to India just for us! Believe me, she's not in it for the money, which I think is a little light on, but we can redress that with pressies for her (we don't have to, we want to).

Tertia has hooked up with an IVF clinic in South Africa (Cape Town) and the RE there is doing all the testing and monitoring. He is in touch with Dr S and Dr Y, who are setting the medical protocol - hopefully this week. On October 13 our ED undergoes her physicals, but the blood workup will be done prior to that.

So, here we have an egg donor from South Africa, a surrogate in India and a couple in Australia making a family. Wow. It is such an honour to be the instigator of this process and make friends with people from across the world, who only have our best interests at heart. I must say, after almost going to the USA for surrogacy, this is a really easy, quick and humbling experience. When I cancelled the IVF clinic in Houston, they were very pissed off at me and one person there sent a snipey email to my surrogate questioning my integrity. Miss A put her in her place very quickly. 

I still have not heard back from the lawyer to whom I sent $3000USD for contracts. I know she has done some work on the contracts, but her initial fees statement sais if we cancelled at any time prior to the execution of the contract, she charges $175 per hour, which will be deducted from any fees sent. 

I have sent two emails asking her for a statement of costs, and asking for a return of part of the $3000. It has been two weeks and not a peep. How disgraceful. Funny how these "professionals" are all over you like a rash, then once they secure your business and money, they disappear. I will continue to ask for a part refund, and if I don't hear from her in the next week or so, I will start making noise about reporting her to the law society in the state where she practises.

That aside, Bob thinks we just put the $3000 down to a lesson learned. I don't care so much about the refund of fees, as I do about her living up to her end of the bargain and behaving professionally, legally and responsibly. I have discovered that everyone (except miss A) I have dealt with through the whole USA surrogacy saga is not really in it to help you, rather to line their own pockets. I am so glad we are bypassing American businesses completely in our journey to become parents through surrogacy, though I still grieve not working with Miss A.


Jaymee said...

Wow, what an amazing feat you are putting together. That is going to be one very international munchkin. Glad things are moving along smoothly.

Mike and Mike said...

Lawyers are sadly, for the most part in my experience, greedy blood-sucking, bottom feeding slimeballs.

That being said, I have had the fortune to know good reputable and honest lawyers...but sadly...they are outnumbered and don't make media headlines. Hence, my perception may be considered skewed. I hope you did not get taken, but if you did, file a complaint to the bar. A lawyers worst fear is usually being disbarred.

As for the major NATO alliance surrogacy you are attempting...yikes! We had it easy.

Mike A.

Amani said...

He he. We're also considering egg sharing with another couple from a fourth country so that our children have half siblings they can contact in the future if they so choose.

Rhonda and Gerry W said...

Hey maybe I can have some of those eggs too!!!! Sorry, America...but I must agree. Everything I had heard about surrogacy here in the U.S is ALL about the mighty dollar and for those that can afford to shell out 50-80grand or more. UGH...wish I was rich! Creating a family shouldn't be this hard?!?

Sarah said...

Well I have to agree with Mike A that many lawyers are greedy, blood-sucking, bottom feeding slimeballs. BUT, as one of the good, reputable, and honest lawyers in the US, let me know if you need help getting the money back. I'd be happy to make some calls, get you some web addresses, etc, and I wouldn't charge a cent.

You can PM me on the support group if you want to follow up. Otherwise, such good luck to you!


Amani said...

Aw thanks Sarah. Much appreciated. The lawyer is in Arizona. I want to give her another week and one more polite email before I play hardball with her head.

I have had the benefit wonderful lawyers I've hired in the past. You're not all bottom feeders. Now, as a journalist ... can I tell you how lowly we are regarded ... yet the first place a disgruntled citizen goes is either to a lawyer or the media.

Joke: What do you call 500 lawyers (or journalists) at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.


Sarah said...

I know, I know. But have you heard the joke about the medical profession?

What do you call a person who graduates at the very bottom of the class in medical school?


wait for it...



But in all serious, I'm happy to help if you need any. Hopefully the lawyer will get back to you soon, so it won't be a problem!

Tertia said...

Yes, I've heard about this Tertia woman. Apparently she is incredibly good-looking, exceptionally quick witted and unbelievably gifted. What a find!



Amani said...

Geez Tertia ... now you're cyber stalking me!!! Honestly, I think even Rhonda would lewt you into the forum because you are so good looking (not to mention witty, intelligent and ... and ... downright fabulous).