Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Am over my hissy fit

This is shaping up to be a good week. After many emails, phone calls, dumping of emotions and attempting to patiently wait, it seems things have smoothed out ... so far.

There was a potential problem with the results of our donor's hormone levels. It appears (and I hope this is the case) that our donor had low FSH and LH levels outside "normal" range due to being on BCP. There were also differences of opinion about what is a normal range for these levels between Indian IVF and South African IVF protocols.

I was terribly disappointed that Dr S and Dr Y suggested I not proceed with this donor, shocked actually. I got straight onto the agency and asked if I could have another donor, or a back-up donor. The agency director had no idea there was a problem, for all she knew the our donor had passed every medical test as advised by the doctor in South Africa.

The doctors from both countries emailed back and forth and it was decided the low levels were due to BCP, however, another test - and AMH test - was ordered just to make sure. We get the results of that in 8-10 days.

In the meantime, the time schedule for travel is: for our donor and her rep: Leave SA 5 December, arrive India 6 December (CD8) and return to South Africa 15 December.  Bob and I would leave Australia 9 December, arrive India 10 December and return to Australia after transfer on 17 December. These dates are not yet confirmed, so I have not changed the flights we currently have booked.

Getting close to Christmas, our fares have gone up $1000. We can cope with that, BUT flights are getting full, and so is accommodation. During the past seven-10 days many hotels in Mumbai are telling me "we have no rooms available for your selected dates ... would you like to choose alternative dates?". Well, no thank you. You can't do that when you're on an IVF schedule.

The other unknown at present is that there is now a third couple hoping to fly a donor from South Africa to India for a December cycle. Trying to find a flight for four people is a little more difficult than finding one for three. We don't know if this couple will make the December timetable. As I understand they don't yet have a surrogate booked and Dr S tells me they most likely will not be able to accommodate them for December.

My biggest fear was that my cycle would have to be delayed to January to accommodate this third couple, and that royally pissed me off. You know how emotional one can get when finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel of infertility, only to have yet another delay. Just put it this way: it is unbearably disappointing and frustrating. However, I have been assured by the agency that if this couple can't make December travel, they will have to wait for four months. 

For anyone considering flying a caucasian ED from South Africa to India, please be warned: the agency is now grouping donors together and flying them out three times a year. That makes financial and logical sense. The agency cannot send a representative to India with every donor booking. The reps have lives outside of the agency and the donors cannot travel unaccompanied. I think the next trip to India for the agency will be around April 2009.

For anyone wondering  how much it costs to fly a donor from South Africa to India, the figure is around US$9000. That includes EVERYTHING - IVF, doctors in SA, meds, agency fee, donor fee, travel and accommodation, daily allowance ... no more to pay. Nurture (www.nurture.co.za) is currently the only agency linked with Surrogacy India that offers caucasian egg donors willing to travel to India. 

So, we continue to wait. My days are filled with blogging, reading blogs and the forum, sending emails, researching surrogacy laws and gardening. I am such a lazy blob right now. I don't return to uni until next year, and I can't exactly go out and get a job because we will be travelling soon. So I am twiddling my thumbs, going for walks, organising home renovations and ... twiddling my thumbs. But hey - it's all worth it - and my garden look fabulous!


Carrie Jo said...


I have to say that as much as it is awful that you are going through all of this hell to get this done, the fact that you have blogged it is so wonderful for those coming after you...I know that your blog (along with the many other from the support group) have been so helpful to me.

Hang in there. You are going to be a mum!

jo gray blogs said...

I second that, Carrie Jo. This has been so helpful to me and my husband. In fact, hopeful, would be a better way of putting it.

While I was studying, I came across the axiom 'information just wants to be free'. I was so taken with this concept and fell head over heals in love with postmodernism as a result.

I now realise that this axiom can only be realised with the help of courageous people like Am, who share their hard work with others without giving it a second thought.

it is appreciated, Am. And while you might feel bored and restless, please realise that you're doing important work for other couples all over the world.


Amani said...

Aw, thanks guys. you make feel like a hero.