Friday, October 17, 2008

Pissed off and disappointed

Sitting here crying with disappointment tonight. I feel like I am being messed around and delayed to suit other people. We were meant to cycle November at the latest. Now it's December. That just does not suit me! But what choice do I have? Get pregnant myself? tentative dates are December 5-19. Screw that. Not happy. I have had to cancel so many things. And travelling so close to Christmas is a nightmare, as well as expensive. We've missed all the November pre-Christmas cheap airfares. Accommodation costs go up in December. This has already cost us so much time, emotions, and now money.

Tonight I feel like pulling out of the whole thing, surrogacy and all. Tonight it feels like this will never happen, no matter good I am, or how hard I try, how nice I am or how generous I am. I just feel ripped off, not just by this surrogacy thing, but by other people in my life as well. Two of my gold rings were stolen in a home burglary a couple of nights ago. Okay, that's fine, I shouldn't have loaned them out. But the person whose home they were stolen from didn't say "So sorry, your rings were stolen. I feel really bad about that". No, just "Yeah and they got your sapphire and amethyst rings too". And no, she's not insured, she let her home contents insurance lapse a month ago. Despite me trying on several occasions to get her to pay the policy, or even let the insurance agency allow me to change her policy payments to monthly installments, I couldn't get her on the phone to the bloody insurance company because "It doesn't matter, they're only possessions". Well, yes they are ... baubles ... but two of those baubles were mine. I feel I am being taken for granted. I am absolutely going to stop being nice and understanding.

We've already lost $3000 to an unscrupulous surrogacy lawyer in Arkansas, USA. As soon as she got the money, the emails stopped. I am in the process of trying to recover some of it. I never asked for a full refund as she had done some work - like - made a few emails to my US surrogate and me, but we never even saw a draft contract. I can't believe people behave like this. I have run a business before and I would never be so unscrupulous. Unbelievable.

Well, she thinks she can't touch me from Australia ... and maybe not ... but I sure can help the surrogacy community know what a thief she is and steer the clear of her and her sham agency and legal practice.  I am two seconds off posting her name and the name of her agency here ... but will wait for legal advice.

I am so pissed off. And where is DH? On the couch snoring his head off.


Jaymee said...

I hope these are the last of the changes. I know how frustrating it can be. Hopefully you will be successful and this will all be a funny story to tell your child about their beginnings.

Amani said...

Ugh. Jaymee ... after writing the post yet another delay came via email. That was me done for the day.

I will bounce back ... always do. It just gets on top of you sometimes. Others have it worse than me.

Rhonda and Gerry W said...

Oh darling hang in there. It will get better you know it will. Why or why are we challenged so dearly in life???
Keep the faith.

JourneyofHope said...

All of your troubles and heartache will be worth it in the end. Totally sucks when it happens though. I am sorry to hear about the lawyer troubles - so not right. Don't give up.

switzertwins said...

Hang in there Kiddo..
I've been meaning to jump on the bike for a roadtrip through the mountains in Arkansas. Where was that lawyer located again?

Amani said...

Ha ha Brian. Fortunately a lovely forum online friend is a lawyer in the USA and I have passed the details on to her.