Friday, October 31, 2008

Waiting for dates

I have woken this morning with some (most) of the depression I have been experiencing lifted. It feels so good to not be battling through the day with a ball and chain around one's neck.

I sorted out a very important (and private) issue with SI. The problem was a combination of mis-communication and sensitivity and over-reaction on my part, due primarily to stress and anxiety.

Today is Friday. I seem to have lost a week somehow. Last night I was looking for my Tuesday night shows on TV, then Bob told me it was Thursday night. wow. Where have I been?

Anyway, I am now chilled. Thanks to my online, who have contacted me concerned about my recent posts (which I have removed, because they were a little too "venty").

Today I am going to read a book my mum sent me for my birthday. I am not going to focus on surrogacy, I do so need a break from the worry. I guess I still don't really believe this will happen for us, that we will try for another three years and everyone around us will get pregnant, and all our transfers will fail. How's that for positive thinking?! It's quite ridiculous really. The fertility problem has always been mine - a combination of my body and my eggs. Now both of those problems are out of the equation, there is no reason why this won't succeed, even on the first try. I guess my persecution complex comes into play when I get down. I feel much lighter and brighter today, and back to being hopeful.

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