Saturday, February 28, 2009

The racist debate is over .. next? ED issues

Thanks to a couple of anonymous people using my blog as a dumping ground for their own problems, just for now I will be changing the blog access to invite only. So if you get an invite to join in coming days, I welcome you to read, if not, please don't ask for access. I appreciate the majority of comments, especially those that advise me and teach me. The small minority of posters who seek only to attack, can go find someone's else's blog to defecate on.

So, we are ten days into the two-week-wait. We should get our results Thursday. I am going into self-protection mode as this has been a disappointing time given the results of our cycle with our ED-angel, who, to me is still an angel, but who I am now concerned about because she might have fertility issues of her own. Is it the egg, is it the sperm, who knows? The docs say it is the egg, but I am not 100% convinced that even good-looking sperm grabbed through ICSI are not the problem. The eggs looked good too. I guess no-one knows. 

We still have three that may come through for us. It only takes one. I am secretly hoping someone in the lab dropped the petrie dish and that's why the other three embies failed to thrive, because they were dropped on the floor. Of course, that scenario is highly unlikely, but in some ways it makes me feel a bit better, because then there would be a non-fertility reason for their arresting, and Shyla will be okay and so will we.

On that note, I bid you adieu until after the results. Those who care about us and who we care about will know the results asap, the rest, you will have to find out through other means.


J and D waiting said...

I am really hoping you get great news soon. Enough is enough

JourneyofHope said...

Hi Amani:

I guess some people think that your blog is a message board and feel that everyone wants to hear their comments.

I think that what you are doing with your blog is just working it all out to what is best for you. What is best for others, their opinions and thoughts are their own and should be kept that way.

What you have been going through is this 2ww can be discribed as nothing but a nightmare. To have recieved the news that you did must have been just heartbreaking and it takes SO much time, money and energy to coordinate everything and to not have the desired result is pure hell.

I was happy to see in your post that you still have hope because I was worried that you had lost it. The womb is the most natural place to embies to grow so I am hoping and praying that you beta comes back positive.

Stay tough lady.

Mike and Mike said...

We certainly respect and understand your decision. At the same time, we are saddened that it has to be this way due to insensitive people who have way too much time on their hands.

The loss of your blatant honesty and stream of consciousness posting will be missed. So you damn well better invite or I won't hunt down anonymous and throw eggs at her house! lol.

Mike A.

1time GS said...

Thinking of you in blogland...

I, myself, am in my 2ww as a Surrogate - with results to be found out Tuesday.


Trea said...

Hey Amani and Bob - hang in there guys. We are hoping with every ounce of our hearts and minds that you get a positive this week. You guys deserve it. The last thing you need during your 2 ww is people bagging you and your decisions. Cheers Trea and Andrew x x

Anonymous said...

Bob & Amani, I am praying you get the fantastic good news that you so deserve towards the end of the week.


Rick said...

Bob & Amani,

We've got our fingers crossed and our prayers offered.

We can't wait to here a positive result..

Amani said...

You guys are all so great. Honestly, your comments and prayers and hopes have really gotten through and made us feel a whole lot better. Sometimes when the days are dark and you can't find the light switch, it takes your kind friends to turn it on for you.

We're doing so much better. There is a lot to sort through and each day it all becomes clearer and clearer. We pretty much know what we're going to do if we get a negative.

Hope has returned, so we will just have to wait and see ... but believe me, we will be very prepared for a negative, and completely unprepared for a positive. wow, that would be so cool!

maggie said...

Hi Amani,
best of luck, you are in our thoughts and prayers. Like M & M ,We will miss stream of consciousness posting & honesty. It did make us feel less alone, Maggie

Anonymous said...

Why did you decide to "fold" the discussion on racism? I thought some of the postings made some good points. Your response was to verbally attack the posters using some pretty vicious language, calling them gutless and cowardly, "dickwads", "defecate", some rather unseemly language. I'm not so sure I buy into your characterisation of them given the way you decided to put closure on the topic. Amani, you owe your readers an explanation as to where you stand with some of these issues that were raised otherwise you risk people forming the wrong conclusions about you and your family.

Amani said...


I owe no-one anything. My life, my opinions, my blog. What part of "this is not a forum" do you not get? Think of it this way ... this is a book you buy from a book shop. You don't agree what is in the book, so what do you do? Nothing, you can't. Same here.

I personally don't care what opinions anyone forms of my family. None of you will ever get to meet them or know what wonderful people they are, nor how imperfectly perfect they are. If I keep this race debate open I am only inviting further misunderstanding and criticism. I do not need that right now.

I think i made it quite clear the original anonymous poster is known to me and I am using strong language as a payback for her continued harassment of me. I don't go to her blog and attack her, so when she comes here she'll get a piece of my mind.

Maranda said...

Sending best thoughts your way...I'm soon to be a second time GS getting geared up for another go round!