Friday, March 13, 2009

Beta is in ...


We're not looking too good. We're still rising, but have only gone up from 218 to 330 in 72 hours, not the doubling clinics look for.

I feared this would happen given that all our embies expired prior to six cells. If they didn't go anywhere, why would we expect the other three to progress, especially given that the Dr thinks our donor has fertility problems and has recommended she not donate again. I hope that is not the case, and I hope the ED agency will provide her with the results of this cycle, not just the "good news", so that she can undertake further investigations, or fast-track her own family planning. 

We're disappointed with the news but not shattered. All our grief and tears were expended last week when we lost our non-transferred embies. These things happen and they're out of everyone's control. 

If we lose this pregnancy, which does seem likely given the slowing of down of the beta, we may well try again, but really can't think to the future too much just now. It's a crap shoot we've spent $40,000 on infertility thus far and have so little to show for it. But, others are in worse positions than we are, and we do have the funds to try again, with an Indian ED, so I guess we're feeling a little sore, but no-where near throwing in the towel.

Can I ask readers whose comments contribute in a positive and supportive way to our dream of having a family to get a gmail account. The recent anonymous postings are just getting too silly for words and I'm going to block anonymous comments.

Thanks


21 comments:

Anita said...

Amani, I have my fingers crossed for you. At least the beta's rising so there's still hope. I'm praying it all works out.

Hang in there mate!!

Mary Jane said...

I am praying for you too, there's not much else to say....

Anonymous said...

Hey Amani:

This is not the news that I was hoping to read. I am incredibly sorry that this cycle may be failing. I will keep you, your embies and your surro in my thoughts and prayers.

Stay strong.

S

JourneyofHope said...

that was me posting anon by accident. Hugs

Kerrie and Mark said...

I have no idea what this mean, we can just keep the faith.
Kerrie

J and D said...

I am so hoping that things turn around for you. It is so hard when things in the surrogacy world when things are going wrong. we have no control.
Hugs and prays to you

Oddity Acres Clan said...

We are praying for you both at this time and sending our love.

Bob said...

Well done to the anonymous posters. If your intention was to aggravate our grief you have succeeded. Your parents must be so proud of you. Get a life.

Tigerlilycat said...

Amani & Bob,
All I can say is that you have our friendship and support always, and I have our fingers, toes, legs, arms and even trying to cross my eyes for you both. Both Lisa and myself will be praying for a great outcome.

And to the anonymous posters that feel they have the right to get onto someones personal blog and try to make them feel bad, you must have no life what so ever. If you feel that trying to bring down two wonderful people who are doing their best to bring a baby into their lifes, who have only supported support most people who have asked them including myself, than start your own blog tell and write what ever you like. And if you cant do that than at least put your real name and contact details down so they can contact you so that you can say it to them personaly you cowards.

Sorry Amani and Bob but I just cant stand people who hide behind their computers with their 20 cent minds.

Nik

Amani said...

Sick 'em, Rex! Them's me boys!

Mike and Mike said...

Amani, Bob,

Our positive thoughts are going out to you both.

Mike and Mike

Kerrie and Mark said...

Ugh. It is so stressful. Take strength in the fact the number could get bigger... I just dont know. It is so stressful and you guys have been through the ringer. Just know I am thinking about you guys.
Kerrie

Towley said...

Throwing some positive thoughts your way , it's not over until the fat lady sings they say !

We are praying for good news for you both !!

Amani said...

Can someone go offer that fat lady a big meal and make her sing for her supper. There's still a bit of a chance.

maggie said...

Hey Amani,
i'm really fat,a lady and i refuse to sing...

jojo said...

thinking of you and hoping hoping hoping for good news soon. be kind to yourself. xxx

Amani said...

Maggie, I it round the wrong way. No, no no!! We want no singing. i will not sing either ... ever

Anonymous said...

Amani and Bob,
Having been on the IF rollercoaster for a long time, I am not one to blow smoke. I just wanted to say that considering that your second number almost quadrupled, it's possible that a second embryo implanted, but didn't make it. There's still a good chance that you have a little guy snuggling in for the long haul. I'll be anxiously waiting for news - and praying that it's good - hang in there!

Lori

Amani said...

Thanks Lori,

I never thought of that. It makes sense. This is our first time through beta hell. Lots of succumbing embryo hell, but this is the first time we've gotten pregnant.

Thanks you so much. This is why I want to keep the blog open to anonymous posters - for comments from the experienced and wise.

Oanh said...

You beat the odds and got pregnant so stay strong that you'll beat the odds again.

Heather and Jase said...

I tried to post earlier after I got your email. I def. think Lori is on the right track. I told you I will not accept anything less than greatness!

Hang in there hun! I know this is an emotional f*ckfest, buy you are made of strong stuff.