Monday, March 2, 2009
By popular demand the blog is back. It seems I do have a fan club and many of you find my blatantly honest writing humorous and thought-provoking. I received quite a few emails from people I didn't even know were reading my blog so I decided one rotten apple shouldn't spoil the whole crop. Many of you expressed liking my blog because I said things you'd all thought and a bunch of you related. Cool. It seems I am not such a schmuck.
We're doing well. The grief and depression have passed, and we're back to being our normal "not normal" selves. While I am not online blogging, I write several times a day, just to get things out of my presently fearful and confused mind. For every post there is a post I don't publish. Maybe one day all this will be published in a book, edited with the wisdom of hindsight. I will say, yet again, this blog is a combination of my thoughts and feelings and our journey. It is a small window into what we experience during this strange, exciting, thought-provoking, and sometimes downright disappointing journey called surrogacy in India.
We are two days off learning whether our results are positive, or negative. Last night my stomach was doing those flip-flop movements, and it wasn't because of the "toilet' problem I am again experiencing, on our return from India. I took the butterflies in the tummy feeling to mean I had not lost all hope. Nevertheless, Bob and I are getting clearer with our Plans C, D and E. Plan A, getting pregnant first go is still a possibility. Plan B - FET in coming months - is now off the table. Our potential plan C option, cycling in a foreign country and making embies to fly to India, has been been dismissed as illogical, time and money-consuming when we have Plan D, an Indian egg donor for a cycle in April. We still have concerns about the lack of personality and medical information about Indian EDs, but will discuss these concerns with our clinic if the need arises.
We've also revisited some old chestnuts (adoption not being one of them). Depending on what happens and how we feel, we may well sell up, buy a farm in the country, take in 20 homeless doggies, buy a bunch of ponies and give our love to foster kids. (Okay, that one was my idea ... Bob will never do that.)
No plans can be put into action until we get our results on Thursday. I am glad our surrogate Mrs C needs a month between cycles, so April is the earliest we could try again, giving us time to regroup and regain our strength.
In the meantime we will focus on getting this house extension built. Today I am getting quotes for some built-in cupboards for our bedroom. Space is at a premium in our little house and our cousin Natalia may be coming to live with us in April, so we need to make room for her. I am also going out to look at kitchens in coming weeks, which will be fun as our kitchen is just revolting, and I need to find 77sqm of jarrah floor boards supplied and installed for less than $150 sqm. Yikes, $40 for the materials, $80 for the install and $30 for the builder's overhead. Why does it cost $80 per sqm to install floorboards? A sqm is a very small area, and laying wood on concrete is not exactly rocket science.
Off to have some fun.
Posted by Phoenix at 4:08 PM