Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Karyotyping results in ... it's a boy.

I have opened our blog. I have had it closed during the past month or so while we have been grieving, angry, devastated and forced to continue the fight. We thank everyone we trusted to read what has really been going on, as we know you don't judge us. We have also removed the comments from those who said things they may not have wanted to say while no-one else was reading, for your own security. 

Tonight we received an email from someone called "Ravi" on behalf of Surrogacy India. Who the fuck is Ravi? "Ravi" (not his fault) sent us the karyotyping results of bubble.

Why could we not have received this so very important information from our previous best mates at SI - Dr Sudhir and Dr Yashodhara. Too busy courting new clients we guess.

Bubble was - is - and will always be - our little boy. And our bubble boy tested genetically normal.

What more can I say? All the scary betas, the scary scans, the low amnio results, the small growth ... the crap results we got via phone from Dr Yash,  that never matched up with the actual results uploaded to our google website ...  the promises of testing, the promises of repeat testing, the calls to say bubble had a high chance of trisomy 21 and trisomy 18, of which test results proved to not concur with what we were told on the phone ... bubble was genetically okay ... and that gives us great relief. However, we also feel rather bittersweet because we wonder what happened? And we don't even question this. Why bother, we will never get an answer.  It simply is. These things happen. And we have moved on.

All I can say tonight, while it sinks in, is that we love you bubble.

PS. Thursday. We have named him Nicholas.


Lisa said...

I am so very sorry. Big hugs to you both. My heart goes out to you...

Jackie said...

I am sorry for you both and for your little bubble boy....I so wish this had ended differently and want you to know I grieve with you both.

Jackie xxx

crystal said...

My heart goes out to you both. It's good that you had the karyotyping done, because at least you know that you can continue your journey, and your next results should be good.

Mike and Mike said...


Thank you for opening your blog again. My mother really enjoys reading your blog and was disappointed when you closed it, although she completely understood.

Our heartfelt sympathies go out to you, Bob, and Nicholas. The karotyping, while providing some small sense of comfort, does not lessen the grief or anger. Our thoughts, prayers, and support will always be there for you as you continue on.

Mike A.

Sarah said...

Sending u a long distance hug Amani. I have been thinking about you lots.