Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Progress, thinking .. ideals



My darling sleepy slugs!


Today has been rainy and yucky and wintery. It's so cold here in Perth, only 2 degrees celsius overnight, so not that cold, just cold for us. We don't even get snow so there's not a whole lot complain about weather-wise.  You know those days when you feel cold right through to the bone,  and you want to snuggle up under your doona and be cosy, and you have to turn the heater on. Today was perfect for that. We had such a cosy day.

The best bit about today is that Bob decided he felt "unwell". I said to my dear husband this morning,  'Bull shit Bob, you are so not staying home just cause you say you are unwell". And he said to me, "Okay, I am fine, but I want to snuggle in with you and the doggie and the cats".  So I let him and he did. I love my snuggly hubby!

Today we watched DVDs of The Office (US version) for most of the day. I love that show. Talk about loser-breaks with no idea about appropriate behaviour in life.  Steve Carrel is too funny, but my fave is Dwight Schrutt. What a wannabe lovable loser. You can't help but end up loving him, if not for his character, but for the actor who does such an amazing job to present the quintessential suck up off all time! Smart people see through suck ups pretty quick, dumbos see what poseurs are up to, eventually, because suck-ups and poseurs from all walks of life on TV or not, are just way too obvious to go undetected. And even though I know Pam and Jim will get it on eventually, I just love that story line. Jim is so freaking cute!

So that was our day.

Back to surrogacy in India. Our Amy has had tested great with her FSH/LH. We are stoked. I was really happy to wake this morning with her results, not that I ever had any logical doubt she would be okay fertility-wise, and nor did she, but we both had a few moments of the  "what if"  horrors.  Both of us. This is so important after three long years of being together with infertility. 

As an aside, there was some dumbo who made a comment about me disrespecting our egg donor from South Africa. I deleted that comment, as I will delete any comments that are pure rubbish. The rest can stay, even if they are unflattering.

I have always held our previous donor close to my heart. I still thin of her all the time, and I hope she does not believe she is the problem, because basically, she was blamed for our crap result. She was blamed by Surrogacy India docs - not us! - as being the reason for our poor result. I have also said many times I do not believe she was the inherent problem. We were told we had 15 follicles, then told we didn't. Then told we had 12 follicles. Then in India we were told we had 8 eggs. That is not a good response, but hey, we took a risk. Of the eight eggs, only 6 fertilised. We were told by Dr Yash that we had good quality eggs, but when our pregnancy all turned to shit, we were told our eggs were never any good. So blame our ED. Dr Yash did that, not us!!

Perhaps dumbo poster misunderstood me.  I am not at all happy with the agency who provided us with our ED. They were paid a bunch load of money by IPs, and they decided to double up donors into rooms, and charge IPs $1500 for accommodation for their donors for an single room.  The actual cost ended up being around $600US.  That is just greed. That agency is Nurture, (www.nurture.co.za ... Tertia is your contact). I am not at all up-to-date with their recent activities, but last I heard,  Surrogacy India was the one taking over the accommodation for caucasian EDs from Nurture. They are charging $1500 for donor accommodation, when in actual fact, it costs around $700 at the VITS, where the donors stay, in a shared room per donor. If you're happy to pay double, be aware that SI is taking the extras, but it's up to you if you wish to accept this blatant overcharge. 

Anyway, there are many more options for surrogacy India out there. While I apologise profusely to the IPs who asked me about SI, and to whom I gave glowing reports about. Sorry, that's all I can say. I didn't know. I was caught too.

The reason I have not blogged the actual name of the place we are going to in Delhi is because dear Sudhir - he does not deserve the title of doctor, when he has never actually practised as medical doctor, he is just an admin hack - has been contacting service providers in India about me and "how I am banned from surrogacy in many countries". Yah. Read previous post and decide for yourselves. Si has not only provided abominal service, they now seek to discredit a former client who spoke glowingly of them, because he is a prick.

Don't worry, I have discussed this ridiculous issue with our new doc/clinic/hospital, they are fully aware that Sudhir is on the hunt to discredit me and Bob. We are safe.

To end this this off: newbies.  I apologise for promoting Surrogacy India to you. I did that because I was also once a newbie too. And like you, I trusted, and I believed, as we had to. You may well be okay. I hope you are. We have been badly stung by SI, and every thing I have said about "our personal situation" I can back up. But I don't need to. Just beware. This is nothing personal, it is about a business offering services to desperate and hoping couples, taking advantage of those couples and then abandoning them when they personally mess up. Not at all good. 

This is not about personal agendas, nor competition, nor personal attack, nor who likes Rhonda and Gerry more than Amani, nor who fights for their country despite the chest-beating from one who has never been deployed.  I am telling you what I know to be true. What you do with this information is up to you. I am so over surrogacy in India. I am so damned scared to try again. We are down so much $. And even if we had paid only $2000, or $200, the money is irrelevant. We are just dead scared to try again. The pain is not in spending the money, the real pain is in being lied to and betrayed by those you trust to assist you.

There are no guarantees. And we have blindly paid whatever was asked if us to pay, even in cash - to save SI on their taxes -  because we believed, and we never complained. And when it all turned to shit for us, and we had questions that were never answered, and were threatend legally by an agency (no, they are NOT a clinic, nor a hospital, and YES, they have agencies working for them)  to get business that we were stupid enough to pay a large bulk of our money to  in cash so they could save on thier taxes ... we were still abused. 

But, that is just one agency. We are still willing to try. Call us dumb, or desperate or whatever, we will agree with you, but we still a small slither of hope.

We are waiting for Surrogacy India to be professional and provide us with the refund "they decided was appropriate". We have many unanswered questions, and we now know we will never get answers. Fine, we took a risk, this is not the USA nor Europe, nor Australia. You don't get to sue your Indian agency/clinic when they mess you over folks. You sign your contracts in India, under Indian terms and if you want to take anyone to court you do it in India. 





1 comment:

crystal said...

It is hot as hell in Maryland, and I just took Mark out of the kiddie pool. That is great new's about Amy. Amy just might be your winning lottery ticket, and hopefully you will never have to look back. India is the wild, wild "West", when it comes to surrogracy. All we can do is pass along to other's any information that might benefit them.