Wednesday, June 23, 2010

It's a ...

Baby! Still safe and sound with SM R.
Sorry, couldn't resist the tease. It's driving me mad being so close to baby and not being able to meet him or her. Things are great. I love India, and Delhi, it feels like home.
We met SM R and it was such a beautiful moment. I won't go into it it too much, as I am tingling with such good amazing wonderful feelings, I want to keep them all to myself for now. The only way to put it is the feelings are like when you meet someone and you realise you are falling in love. R is so beautiful, she looks amazing and she has a pretty decent sized belly.
I've had a fair amount of time to talk with R (through an interpreter), hold hands, have a cuddle even. She is very shy and also teary. I was afraid she was unhappy but she's not, she said she was so happy that we are here. I adore her. I feel such a deep maternal feeling for her. And she likes me : )) I will always look after her long after we go home. This is such a strange world I live in right now. All the emotions I have supressed or ignored for so long have erupted and it feels so GOOD! I feel like i am emotionally thawing out and each day brings new feelings, most i have never had before. I feel like I know our baby and that I always have. I really am starting to understand it when new mums say "I cannot imagine life withut my child".
We went to a scan and saw baby in 3D. Pic above is from the scan. Dr J allowed us to video the scan and we have been watching it over and over. We heard baby's heartbeat. Bob was going to stay out of the room, to give space, even though R was fine with him coming in. As soon as we heard the rapid thump thump thump he was right in there behind me, marvelling and cooing.
Baby is a little over 6 pounds and measuring 36 weeks 1 day, right on target. We saw little fingers and a very large foot, with five perfect toes. We saw a fist opening and closing and saw the chambers of baby's heart pounding away on the monitor. Baby had hand over face and we had to wait until s/he moved, and peeked out from behind hand.
I gotta tell you, this is just amazing I am lost for words, yes me, lost for words. I highly recommend getting here a week before baby's birth so you spend some time with your SM and the team and settle in and give yourselves a chance to experience the excitement leading up to baby's birth in India. You really don't want to miss out on this time. It also gives you a chance to get to know your baby - being at an actual scan is a thousand times better than emailed pics. Once you get here it becomes very very real, aqnd the sense of being so far away and disconnected vanish.
I saw R again today and when saw me she smiled and put her hands out to me to hold and hugged me and kissed me. I am so very lucky to have this wonderful weoman in my life, I want to pack her up and bring her home with us. R said baby is kicking a lot, and she thinks it's a boy. We'll wait and see, but I think she may have some instinctual knowledge given that she has had a girl and a boy of her own, and is the one closest to this babe since conception. So we're thinking blue too. We didn't get "that" part scanned, and I didn't want to. We've waited thgis llonng a few more days won't matter. And I truly do not care. Once I saw and felt baby I fell in love and gender doesn't matter.
R was asked if she will miss baby and she said she would feel a short time of sadness for her, but know she has brought me a lifetime of happiness. She said she would "100 percent do it again" and when asked why, she said "Because I like her" (meaning me). Anyone who has read my tome for some time will know after our miscarriage last year I claimed I would treat this strictly as a business arrangement and never get close to our surrogate. BS, I am weak as tissues. R said she is a little anxious about the birth, and I instantly felt so protective of her. But she said the pregnancy has been smooth and not hard. I was so glad to hear that.
Anyway, I am gushing and will shut up now. We met Orea Zoi and saw pics of his gorgeous twins. We've also done some shopping and tomorrow we're off to haunt some markets. The apartment is fantastic. So large. I'm taking lots of pics and videos of everything. Am now on email so feel free to write peeps!


WendyandTyler said...

I loved reading this, Amani - thank you so much for share these thoughts and feelings! It makes me feel like I am right there too. :) What a gift we are being given...

jojo said...

i keep re-reading this post. i've never been happier for you than right now.

goooooooooo Am!


Edward said...

We're so happy that this is all happening and you are there to experience it LIVE AND IN COLOR!!!!

Your post title made my heart skip a beat by the way....we're all on edge waiting for your blessed arrival! It's not nice to tease when the whole world is holding its breath!

Looking forward to your inevitable great news!!!!

Amber and Brian said...

You got me! It is so wonderful that the baby is getting so big. I can't wait to read about the birth. I really hope you share pictures of you and Bob with your new baby!

Stephaniekb said...

You are a meanie for teasing us like that! Soooo happy for you!!!! I wish we'd had that experience with our surrogate and doctors. I agree with you about R's gut feeling about boy/girl -- our surro also had one of each of her own, and she knew it was a boy, too.

BTW, you don't need to post this, but I'm referring a dear friend to Dr. S and also gave her your e-mail.

Daria said...

This was a fantastic post. I wish only happiness for your upcoming family. You have been on a long, hard road and your finish line is clearly in sight. Good luck and let us know how things progress!!

Tigerlilycat said...

About bloody time you posted!!! So glad that you're getting to enjoy being pregnant and yes, fully agree that seeing it all first hand is a zillion times better than you'd expect. Have fun having fun and we look forward to a few more updates before bubs arrives.

tjudle said...

Such a tease. Boo! :( Yay! :)

(I'm conflicted...)

P.S. My verification word is caria which is like cara, the Italian word for dearie. Now I think it's a girl.

coco said...

amani and bob we are so happy to have you in our lives. what a thrilling experience this is, one that i will cherish forever. all of what everyone here has said and more. your baby is lucky to have you two and so are we

Oddity Acres Clan said...

I remember when you first contacted me a few years ago to discuss surrogacy in India.. do you remember??

Now look at where you 2 are.

Not long to go now Mummy and Dadda.


Kerrie and Mark said...

I cannot wait to see these chubby cheeks in your arms!! Now that you have had the nice stuff, bring on baby!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey a tip (you may already know - but I will say it anyway) when you are ordering the birth certificate - order about 15! Yep, in India you can order multiple and hey while you are getting one - get a stack! You will need some originals just to get home and the rest are just good to have.